Science In Real Life

Around us all we see without cessation
A great vast flowing sea of information
Causing truancy of our cogitation;
With such a great morass of obfuscation
Impingent on our senses night and day
How ever shall we learn to find our way?
We must train to keep the bullshit at bay
And distinguish the horses from the hay;

A trick often used by us science folks
To tell the legit ideas from the jokes –
The signal to noise ratio, you mokes,
Is always low when looking at a hoax;
So first the term of “noise” we shall inspect:
If the cause of something you suspect
Is absent from the system you select,
The noise is the effect you still detect;

By contrast the signal is the accord
Between what you believe and you record;
If it’s correct you may get an award,
If not, back to the drawing board;
In particular when a claim is made
Better than chance it must have gone and stayed,
For if into the noise it has decayed
Your statement is likely false, I’m afraid;

If your friend says the rock he holds upright
Keeps him free and clear throughout the long night
Of any tiger, tiger burning bright
It’s useless if you’re on the Isle of Wight;
If the salesman says your cold he can cure
You drink his drink because it looks “so pure!”
But it still takes a week to run its tour,
You have been had by that entrepreneur;

This is why we scientists use controls,
So when our data’s doing barrel rolls
We can compare against the exit polls
To see if our theory will reach its goals;
So the next time somebody tries to sell you
On claims whose truth is of dubious value
The signal to noise ratio will tell you
Whether you should buy in or just run them through.